Best jokes ever

The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
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I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
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A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!" The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
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Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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