Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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How do you get a Mexican chick to blow you?
You decorate your wiener with leaves.
Trust me, Mexicans love blowing leaves.
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.
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Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths
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A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday.
During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world.
I wish we could travel all over the world."
The fairy waved her wand and POOF!
She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn.
He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.