I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Vote:
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
Q: What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?
A: Bad Blood.
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners?
A zipper!
Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy.
"That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal...
When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!
Vote:
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.