Best jokes ever

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
Vote: has 58.42 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
Vote: has 58.42 % from 154 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, old people
A large cruise ship strikes an iceberg and slowly begins to sink. The captain declares he is going to need to remove some weight from the boat or it will surely sink. He says to be fair, and not discriminate, we will have to call out people in alphabetical order to jump off the ship. Everyone agrees this is the only fair way. The captain then declares "All African Americans, jump overboard!" A niglet tells his dad"Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet" The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all black people to jump overboard." The niglet tells his dad again"Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "No sons, dats not be quiet" The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we still haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all colored people to jump overboard." The niglet tells his dad again"Oh noes, dat be us". His nigger dad says "I said shut up son, we be niggers today!"
Vote: has 58.37 % from 313 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist
Q: Why do blondes need to have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.
Vote: has 58.32 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Vote: has 58.29 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
Q: Did you hear about the gay truckers? A: They exchanged loads.
Vote: has 58.27 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay
A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and fires a shot, barely missing the man's head. The man gets up, says thank you, and leaves a tip. Why the tip and thank you, "because the man had the hiccups."
Vote: has 58.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
Twenty-eight years ago, Herman James, a Tennessee mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush. That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On his third day, he was issued a jock strap... The Army is still looking for him.
Vote: has 58.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
Vote: has 58.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, life