Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Kid: "please could I go 2 the toilet" teacher: "say the alphabet" Kid: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz" teacher: "where's the p?" kid: "running half way down my leg"
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
Yo mama so fat the only liquor she knows is liquorice.
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
A blonde gets her first period, so she goes to the drugstore to get some pads. The wide selection and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help. "What kind of pads should I get?" she says. "This is all new to me." "Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow." She says, "It's ceramic tile."