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Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”
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What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
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More jokes about: men
There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, medical
Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, game
Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
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Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge. Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m." 2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
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More jokes about: cop, life