What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.
Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.