Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari. "Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?" "Because I feel like it." "Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari." "Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up. "I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?" "It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Yo momma so poor... She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
There was a young man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He dreamt that Venus was strokin' his penis And woke with a handfull of goo
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
An old woman goes to the doctor's office. The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests." The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."