The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.