Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac?
A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
Vote:
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert?
A: Chocolate mousse.
You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
Vote:
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
"Sorry sir, are these plastic flowers?"
"As natural!"
"What? They are natural?"
"No, plastic!"
"But, for Christ Sake, sir! Are they natural or plastic?"
"Natural plastic!"
What did the potato chip say to the battery?
If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal’.
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ‘Juan’.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, ‘But they are twins.
If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.’
A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Patrick left the pub after having too much to drink.
He was taking the underground home.
As he started to get on the escalator, he read the sign: ‘Dogs must be carried on the escalator.’
He shouted, ‘Now where I am to find a dog after midnight?’