Best jokes ever

‘My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.” So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.’
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
My wife asked if I would give it to her "doggy style." So I took a dump on the floor and chewed up her shoes.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, men, wine, work
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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