Best jokes ever

Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
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More jokes about: dirty, Yo mama
The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: "We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. "Just one thing," says the lady. "Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. "Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. "Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"
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More jokes about: jewish, military, school, student, time
The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following: "Dear Mary, I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"
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More jokes about: military
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
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More jokes about: sex
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
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More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, priest
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
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More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mama is so fat Donald Trump used her as the wall.
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More jokes about: insulting, political, Yo mama
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
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More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct," says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor. "It seemed easier," replied the defendant, "than shooting a different man every day!"
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More jokes about: lawyer, marriage, wife
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones. The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones." I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright. Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
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More jokes about: phone, school, stupid, teacher, technology


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