Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg."
Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream!
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
A cud thud.
What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?
Shipped beef.
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?
An encownter group.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.
Lady goes to her doc.
"Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type.
The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
Two protons walk into the bar and run into each other.
One of them falls down.
"Are you OK?" asks the other.
"I think so," says the proton.
"You sure?" the other asks.
"Yeah," says the proton..."I'm positive."
Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.