How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion?
It had a lot of hare pins.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
Yo' Mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she invented a ventilated condom.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she can sit on a lollipop and guess its flavor.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her shadow is used for the witness protection program.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
Lady goes to her doc.
"Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type.
The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
Two protons walk into the bar and run into each other.
One of them falls down.
"Are you OK?" asks the other.
"I think so," says the proton.
"You sure?" the other asks.
"Yeah," says the proton..."I'm positive."
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.