Yo' Mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she invented a ventilated condom.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she can sit on a lollipop and guess its flavor.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her shadow is used for the witness protection program.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind?
A: A maybe.
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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