Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...