Yo Mama so old... When she was at school...there was No history class!
Yo' Mama is so old, she calls her waterbed the Dead Sea.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she considers the give-a-penny/take-a-penny cups part of her own "Save Yo' Mama" foundation.
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.