Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies? It hurts to boil their nipples!
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
A man knocked on a door an a women answered and he asked if he could use her toilet. She said you have 3 chances, if you do 3 things wrong I`ll call the police. So he went to piss but on the flush chain there was a bra so he ripped it off. Then when he was walking down the stairs he saw her cat called Boobs on the step & he hates cats so he squezed it & then threw it up the stairs. He then went in the kitchen where the women was & the women said why did you throw my cat up the stairs? He said I don`t know. While she went to get it, on the table was a glass of milk which he then drank. When the women came back she said you had your 3 chances now I'm calling the Police. When the police came they asked her what the man had done. She said this man has ripped her bra off, squezed her Boobs and drank her milk.
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Yo mama so ugly when she went outside it was a black out.
Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age." Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"