Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.