Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
Latin insulted Chuck Norris. It is now a dead language.
Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.