Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.