Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.