Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
In the same event. From home.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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Chuck Norris walked into a bar.
"OUCH!" said the bar.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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