Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
In the same event. From home.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now The Islands.
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
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There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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