Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Vote:
There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”"
The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine."
The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
Vote:
Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other: "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other one says: "Ah! A talking muffin!"
Two women are digging in the garden.
One pulls out a foot-long carrot.
She says, "This one reminds me of my husband."
The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?"
"No that dirty."
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee?
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Why does ET have such big eyes?
He saw the phone bill.