Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay.
The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills.
So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well.
In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills."
So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!"
The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!"
The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?"
The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris.
But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...