Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other: "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other one says: "Ah! A talking muffin!"
Two women are digging in the garden.
One pulls out a foot-long carrot.
She says, "This one reminds me of my husband."
The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?"
"No that dirty."
Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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