Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other: "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other one says: "Ah! A talking muffin!"
Two women are digging in the garden.
One pulls out a foot-long carrot.
She says, "This one reminds me of my husband."
The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?"
"No that dirty."
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee?
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Why does ET have such big eyes?
He saw the phone bill.
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: Must be an earthquake.