Best jokes ever

Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
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Yo momma’s so ugly, they use her face as a cure for constipation.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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Yo mama is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.
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A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?" "Alzheimer, granny!"
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Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse.
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Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
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A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that! What's the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "
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Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
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