If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
Yo Mama so old... She sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
Chuck did enter the Dragon.
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.