The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.