The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Chuck Norris knows who A is.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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