The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.