The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris. His voice is still up there today.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.