Best jokes ever

There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard. Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained. One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women. "On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."
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has 53.71 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
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has 53.70 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: death, morbid, poems
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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has 53.70 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: sex
Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete, darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go. ... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income-tax evasion to the government. . . ." "That's all right, sweetie, don't give it a second thought," answered Peter, "I'm the one who poisoned you."
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has 53.70 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, money, wife
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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has 53.70 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, religious
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together.
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: kids
A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order. "I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband. "But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter. "Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, wife
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
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has 53.67 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, Santa, wife
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline. A week after the marriage all their windows fell out. Which was the least of their worries.
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has 53.67 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: sex
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