Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
The name of the anime Soul Eater was actually inspired by one of Chuck Norris' nicknames.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.