Best jokes ever

Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced." The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces." The first man replies, "No, I just got married".
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has 53.99 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: blonde, college, communication, food
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar? They are both stuck up cunts.
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
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has 53.93 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sex
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
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has 53.92 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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has 53.90 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 53.88 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
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has 53.84 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal
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