Best jokes ever

There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
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More jokes about: disgusting, military, money
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
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More jokes about: chemistry
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers yet. "Yes, teacher," he said, "my dad taught me." "Good, Johnny. Tell me what comes after two," the teacher said. "Three," replied little Johnny. "Very good. What comes after five, Johnny?" asked the teacher. "Six," answered little Johnny. "Excellent. Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten?" the teacher asked. "A Jack!" replied little Johnny.
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What did God say when he made the first niggers? Oops! Burnt another one!
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More jokes about: black people, god
Q: What do you call a black guy with a fan? A: Antique air conditioner.
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More jokes about: black people, racist
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
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Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
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More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."
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More jokes about: marriage
This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!" She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender