Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can. It's not much of a fight....
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?" Blonde: "I don't know. Why?" Teller: "It was easier to spell." Blonde: "Easier than what?"
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time? A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
Chuck Norris made this sentence finish.
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"