Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat.
They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.
Before long, along came a little old man.
The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one."
"No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait."
A little while later, along came a really fat man.
The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough."
"No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait."
About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman.
The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her."
"No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either."
"Why not?" asked the son.
"Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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Yo Mommas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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Your Mom is so skinny she has to wipe her ass with dental floss.
Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
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Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale it says TO BE CONTINUED...
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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