When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Q: Why did this woman cross the road?
A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.
Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team.
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Father: In life you can never be certain about anything.
Son: Really dad, are you sure?
Father: I'm certain.
