Q: How do you electrocute a blonde? A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
Yo momma so old... She left her purse on Noah's Ark.
Q: Why did the students study in the airplane? A: Because they wanted higher grades.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook? She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".