If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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Chuck Norris can say never.
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Chuck Norris caught the gingerbread man.
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There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.