Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.
The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
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What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.
"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Yo' Mama is so dirty, they won't even use her bath water for waterboarding.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?
A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
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Yo momma so old...
She left her purse on Noah's Ark.