Best jokes ever

A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys. What is wrong with this joke? 1. This isn't a joke 2. The blonde is thinking
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A blonde was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. She ran into one of her friends. Her friend asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?" She tells her friend that she has some fish in the bag. The friend says, "Fish! Well, I'll make you a bet.If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The blonde says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."
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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
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A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
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Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
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Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?
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Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots.
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Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
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Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
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A Chinese man came home after a late night of drinking, and crawls in bed next to his sleeping wife. After lying awake for a few minutes, he wakes up his wife and says "Hey honey, wanna do a sixty-nine?" "Well, you've got a lot of nerve! First you come home late, you're drunk, and now you expect me to go to the kitchin and fix you Mongolian beef with snow-peas!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, sex, wife