Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Yo' Mama is so dirty, they won't even use her bath water for waterboarding.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde? A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
Yo momma so old... She left her purse on Noah's Ark.