Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart? A: Chuck Norris' fist
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.