Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.