Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris wins Clue in one guess.
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
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