Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
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