Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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