Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris.
Remember Atlantis?
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A blonde's house was on fire.
She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please!
My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
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Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Father: In life you can never be certain about anything.
Son: Really dad, are you sure?
Father: I'm certain.
Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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