A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?" "No..." "Inheritance."
Client to designer: "It doesn't really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue."
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called? Loch Jaws.
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.