A blonde's house was on fire.
She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please!
My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
Three men walk into a bar.
The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down.
When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
Vote:
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
Vote:
When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
Vote:
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Vote:
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
Vote: