When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Father: In life you can never be certain about anything.
Son: Really dad, are you sure?
Father: I'm certain.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Roses are red
tulips are black.
You'd look great
with a knife in your back.
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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