Three men walk into a bar.
The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down.
When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Q: Why did this woman cross the road?
A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.