Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Father: In life you can never be certain about anything.
Son: Really dad, are you sure?
Father: I'm certain.
