Best jokes ever

A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, money, party
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school
Your mama so dumb she thought the shoes Vans are actually vans.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter. After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs." Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone." The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, stupid
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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