How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits feet.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she invented a ventilated condom.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair? A: He gets disoriented!
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.