Best jokes ever

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: school
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter. After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs." Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone." The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, stupid
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs? A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: easter
Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, time
Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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has 53.17 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, dirty
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
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has 53.16 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, IT, technology
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing. "What's wrong with you?" she asked him. "Remember when your father caught us together when you were 16?" he replied. "And remember, he said, I had two choices - I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison." Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember. So?" "I would have gotten out today."
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has 53.16 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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