This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married.
They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible.
The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy."
She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body.
The woman complains that it was her husband, who beat her.
Doctor tells in surprise: "I thought your husband was out of town."
"So did I..."
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass."
The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"
Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, NASA used her to plug a black hole.
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."