Yo mama so loose...when she walks down the street her pussy claps!
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1". I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!