A Muslim safely departs from a plane.
A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The spic, the nigger never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Vote:
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Vote:
A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass."
The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
Vote:
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.
I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married.
They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible.
The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy."
She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body.
The woman complains that it was her husband, who beat her.
Doctor tells in surprise: "I thought your husband was out of town."
"So did I..."