Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married.
They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible.
The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy."
She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body.
The woman complains that it was her husband, who beat her.
Doctor tells in surprise: "I thought your husband was out of town."
"So did I..."
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.
I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
Q: Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first?
A: Who cares?
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Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale it says TO BE CONTINUED...
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".