Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale it says TO BE CONTINUED...
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?
So they don't have to pay the flat tax.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside.
He says, "I will grant you three wishes."
The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear."
The genie replies, "Your wish is my command."
Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
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Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
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