Best jokes ever

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day? simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
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has 53.08 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1". I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: food
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, women
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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has 53.05 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, dog, love, sex
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
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has 53.05 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A white man walks into a bar and says to a bartender "Hey nigger. Gimme a beer". The bartender says "Don't say that to me. What happened if I said something like that to you?". "The white man says "I don't know lets find out". They switch places. The black comes in and said "Hey honkey, gimme a f*ckin' beer". The white man says "Sorry. We don't serve niggers"
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has 53.04 % from 370 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, racist, white people
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
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