How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.
Q: Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first?
A: Who cares?
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Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale it says TO BE CONTINUED...
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.
He had the biggest feet she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet.
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady!
Why don't you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thank ya Ma'am.
I'm real flattered.
Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
"The woman replied, "Don't be flattered ...take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."
Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?
So they don't have to pay the flat tax.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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