Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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