Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Wet doesn't get Chuck Norris Chuck Norris gets wet.
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While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
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Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
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Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
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