Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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