Best jokes ever

A retiree and his aged wife started having problems in remembering, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the wife got up from her chair and her retired husband asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "To the kitchen." he asks "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" She replies, "Sure." he then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" She says, "No, I can remember that." he then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." She says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." he replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in her voice, she says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." She then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes she returns from the kitchen and hands him a plate of bacon and eggs. He stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, technology, wife
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I'm tired 8 days a week.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life, time
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
These two drunks walk out of a bar and see a dog across the streets licking its own nuts. First guy says "Man, sure wish I could do that." Second says "I dunno, I think I'd pet him first."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Why does Santa have such a big sac? Because he only cums once a year
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about:
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
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