Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
Yo momma’s so ugly, if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
Why does Santa have such a big sac? Because he only cums once a year
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These two drunks walk out of a bar and see a dog across the streets licking its own nuts. First guy says "Man, sure wish I could do that." Second says "I dunno, I think I'd pet him first."
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.