It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town.
What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas.
They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately.
The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job.
Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert.
Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around.
Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
Chuck Norris Doesn't breakdance.
He breaks dance
Vote:
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
Vote:
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
Vote:
Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
Vote:
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Yell at her.