A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"That will be one ruble," says the bartender.
"One ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopeks!"
"Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika."
Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says, "We are out of beer."
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He thought the teacher had said lions.
Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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