Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He thought the teacher had said lions.