Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants? A: Dick-tator.
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.