"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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