What did the cannibal say when he was full?
I couldn't eat another mortal.
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Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?
A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
Yo mama so fat even Donald Trump can't make as big of a wall as her.
Yo mama so ugly when she smiles her face hurts.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Yell at her.