What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.