Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
Vote:
Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
Vote:
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Yell at her.
Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
Vote:
Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
Vote:
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Vote: