Yo' Mama is so skinny, her nipples touch.
A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Yell at her.
Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."