Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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