Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding.
Chuck gave him a warning.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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