Joke #9758

Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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