How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Black man says to siri: "Take me home" Siri replies: "Taking you the quickest route to jail."
What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.
My best friend ran away with my wife. It's only been three days and I really miss him.
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race? A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes.
Q: What did the Mexican get for Christmas? A: My bike.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.