Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator.
He walked away with a new set of luggage.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’
Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
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A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.
One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “What do I do now? I’m almost out of typing paper.”
“Just use the copier machine paper,” replied the other secretary.
With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.
Yo mama so fat she made her own landslide.
Q: Who invented viagra?
A: Mr Hardick of course!
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
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