Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team.
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
I went to the seaside yesterday and stopped at this stall with a sign which said "Lobster tails £1". I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.