Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’
Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator.
He walked away with a new set of luggage.
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“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
“Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I
hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Yo mama so fat she made her own landslide.
Q: Who invented viagra?
A: Mr Hardick of course!
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
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