Best jokes ever

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.
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Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
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More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, music
Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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John: How old are you? Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7 John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
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More jokes about: age, kids
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart? A: Chuck Norris' fist
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Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.
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More jokes about: fat, stupid, Yo mama
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
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Herm is 85 years old and retired. He gets a checkup with his physician. A week or so afteward the doc sees Herm strolling the boardwalk with his arm around a beautiful, comely young female. The doctor stops him and asks, “Herm, you must be feeling terrific, yes?” Herman says, “Just following orders, Doc. You told me to get a hot mama and be cheerful." The physician exclaims, “Herm, that's not what I told you! I said, ‘Your heart's got a murmur. Be careful.’”
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More jokes about: old people
There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
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More jokes about: IT