Best jokes ever

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: ‘If you were my husband I’d poison your brandy.’ Churchill: ‘If you were my wife I’d drink it.’
Vote:
has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
Vote:
has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help. Helium doesn't react.
Vote:
has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: math
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Vote:
has 51.80 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food
There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot. Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help. Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help. Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned. Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned. Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help. Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening. Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned. Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim. He also did not know what his goal was. Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Vote:
has 51.80 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: desert island, memory, sport, stupid, time
Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
Vote:
has 51.80 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
Vote:
has 51.80 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, sex
Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
Vote:
has 51.74 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: health, lesbian
There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship. The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need." The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
Vote:
has 51.74 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, mexican, racist, white people
Q: Who invented viagra? A: Mr Hardick of course!
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: medical, viagra
<<<855856857858
More jokes →
Page 855 of 1427.