Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart? A: Chuck Norris' fist
Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
Herm is 85 years old and retired. He gets a checkup with his physician. A week or so afteward the doc sees Herm strolling the boardwalk with his arm around a beautiful, comely young female. The doctor stops him and asks, “Herm, you must be feeling terrific, yes?” Herman says, “Just following orders, Doc. You told me to get a hot mama and be cheerful." The physician exclaims, “Herm, that's not what I told you! I said, ‘Your heart's got a murmur. Be careful.’”
There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
My uncle is with the FBI. They caught him in Cleveland.
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"