I have got a new dog. We have trained together for two months and imagine, after these two months I was able to reach him my paw and managed even barking around on command. My dog can be proud of myself.
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
Q: How do you eat a frog? A: You put one leg behind each ear.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!
There's a new pain reliever for wives that relieves the headache caused by a husband who never remembers your anniversary. It's called "Jackasspirin."
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
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