If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows. 
Yo mama is so stupid that she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh?
A: Essense of humor.
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"
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A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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