One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
When Google has a question Chuck Norris always knows it.
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
What do you call four niggers, in a car, driving off a cliff? A waste. You could've fit two more in the trunk.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.