First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!" The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?" The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
Snow. One of the rare times the phrase "8 - 12 inches" is associated with something white.
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’. I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.
A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, ‘daddy daddy Philip just got taken by the current' and the dad says, "Oh, forget that nigger."
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
1st man: It is sickening the way my wife keps talking about her ex husband.. 2nd man: Than's nothing, mine keps talking about her next husband.
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.