In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: You would think R but it is the C that love.
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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom:
“Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.
” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
“Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”