Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money.
Two weeks ago she asked for £50.
Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’
Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know.
I never give her any.’
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
‘One thing about Jim,’ his buddy said to the bartender.
‘He knows when to stop.’
Where does an Irish family go on holiday?
A different bar.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Yo momma's so stupid when her son said break a leg, she really did.
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
A: "You better catch up!"
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo?
A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
Yo' Mama is so bald, her cornrows look like stitches.
Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.
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A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
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