When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents.
I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.
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When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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ChuckNorris.com.
Don't go there.
It's like the United States of Chuck Norris...
No one has been there and lived to tell the tale.
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