Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall? A: Captain's log.
Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.