Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy.
Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"
The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"