What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.
Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over.
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store. The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second. When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment? A: An IN-body experience!