Your mama so dumb she thought the shoes Vans are actually vans.
Yo mama so fat when she went rolling down a hill no one could pick her up.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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What's green and sits in the corner?
That same baby three weeks later.
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A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy.
Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"
The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
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