A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Vote:
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Vote:
A prominent lawyer calls a plumber to fix a leak in his shower.
After about 25 minutes the plumber hands him a bill for $200.00.
The lawyer, enraged, says:
“I’m a famous trial lawyer, and even I don’t make that kind of money for 25 minutes work!”
“Neither did I when I was a lawyer”, says the plumber.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
Vote:
A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside.
He says, "I will grant you three wishes."
The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear."
The genie replies, "Your wish is my command."
Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
Vote:
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Vote: