Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Q:How do you know when you are at a gay picnic? A:When all the hot dogs taste like shit!
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!