She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.
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Why did the bald man take up running?
To get some fresh 'air.
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents.
I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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