Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
CNN tells about every disaster around the world. CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".