Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
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Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
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Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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