Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
Chuck gives the sun the chills.
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese. At the same time in every sentence.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.