Best jokes ever

What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual. "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out. One year later he enters the bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks the bloke why. "Well" the guy says, "I have a friend in Ireland and a friend in Australia. We have our birthdays on the same day. We can't be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other. We have been doing this for 55 years since we were 18" The next year the man comes in and asks the bartender for two beers. The bartender, a bit taken aback, places two beers in front of the guy and watches him say "happy birthday, happy birthday!" The bartender asks "so which one died?" "No one." "But you only ordered two drinks!" "Yeah, well, I've given up drinking."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, money, wife
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, sex, time
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon? A hare dare.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, game
What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money