A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
Q: What do you call a fat black man laying down? A: KitKat Chunky.
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine. Cocaine does Chuck Norris.