A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Daddy to his son: I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."