Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...