Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
Yo Momma's a brick, she is flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
I got married to Miss Right. I just didn’t realise her first name was ‘Always’.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.