What's the difference between an apple and a black man? None! They both hang from trees.
A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.