Best jokes ever

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
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More jokes about: black humor, death, terrorist
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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More jokes about: animal, dirty
A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? "The cop!"
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More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."
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More jokes about: love, marriage
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers. Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’ God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
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More jokes about: IT
Q: Whats the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? A: "May I push in your stool?"
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More jokes about: bar, gay
Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea? He thought he was melting.
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More jokes about: black people