Best jokes ever

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, heaven, lawyer, work
Two friends talking: "What's up?" "My wife left me for my best friend.." "I thought I was your best friend..." "Now he is."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q.How do you catch a polar bear? A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load". She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load." The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, winter
There was a burning building with a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde at the top. The firemen are yelling to the redhead to jump into a blanket and she jumps off the building and right as she was about to safely hit the blanket they moved it and she dies. They yell to the brunette to jump but she says,"No I saw what you did to the redhead"! They shout we don't like redheads! So the brunette jumps and sure enough they move the blanket and she dies. Then they shout to the blonde to jump off into the blanket. But the blonde says,"no I saw what you did to them"! They shout we don't like them! The blonde then says, "I don't trust you guys, put the blanket on the ground and step back!"
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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has 49.93 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q. How do you know if a Asian robbed your house? A. Your HW is done , computer is upgraded, 2 hrs later lil f***er still tryin back off the driveway.
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has 49.88 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: asian, computer, racist, time
Q: Why cant stevie wonder read? A: Cuz hes black
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has 49.88 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: black people, celebrity
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