Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Yo Momma SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDE, SHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road?
A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
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Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris.
It's now known as the moon
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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