Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
Class: The second one!
A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
Dear Chuck Norris,
Could you please close the door of your refrigerator.
Thank you,
Europe
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If Chuck Norris were to ever bungee jump, the earth would flinch.
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Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
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Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
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Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
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Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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