Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
Yo' Mama is like a bag of chips: Fri-to-lay.
Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her batteries die, she buries them.