Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's on an elevator, she has to go down!
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.