Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.
Chuck Norris can watch music.
There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.