A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
If Chuck Norris were to ever bungee jump, the earth would flinch.
Vote:
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Vote:
Dear Chuck Norris,
Could you please close the door of your refrigerator.
Thank you,
Europe
Vote:
Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
Vote:
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Yo Momma SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDE, SHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."