What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine. Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
Six mates were seated at the bar, each trying to impress one another with the size of their dicks. The bragging went on for almost an hour, and the bartender got tired of hearing about cocks, so he said, "Let's put an end to all this crap and find out who's lying and who isn't. Each of you whip out your dong and lay it on the bar." All six of them did. Just at that moment a faggot walked into the bar, and the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. The queer looked down the bar, and in a lisping voice, he said, "No thanks, I'll just have some of the buffet."
An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."