Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex?
A:Honey I'm home.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?
He got bombed.
One day a mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.
This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."