A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
One day a mom and her son went to the zoo. There they saw two monkeys having sex. The son asked "What are they doing?". The mom said "Ohh they are making frosting", then they saw hippos doing it then he said "Mom what are they doing?" "Making frosting" she said. Later that night he saw there mom doing it. In the morning he said "Mom you and dad were making frosting so i ate it!"
A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds. One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around. As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face. The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?" She laughs and gets in his bed. When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again. Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy bitch."
A Chinese couple had a black baby. They named him Sum Sing Wong.
Q: What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation? A: Can I help you pack your shit?
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.