"Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!"
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Yo mamma is so fat, when she went on a cruise, a walrus jumped aboard and started singing 'we are family'.
A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
Yo mama is so ugly she made the ugliest person in the world cry.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Man: "What you have prepared to eat today?" Wife: "Nothing." Man: "But you did nothing yesterday." Wife : "I made it for two days."