What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness?
Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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At a Whitehouse party for past presidents.
Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha.
Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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