What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away. 
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers.
And wins.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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