Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat. While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat. The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God! Help me, help me!’ His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter. The lawyer points to his feet and screams, ‘I’m melting! I’m melting…!’
Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.
Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.