Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Chuck Norris always wins at Jenga, the tower couldn't dare to crumble.
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race?
A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
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A fish is to water as Mexican is to lawn mower.