Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.
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My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness?
Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
What do you call a black guy that doesn't rape white women?
An inmate.
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We have so many nationalities.
It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there.
It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.