Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Vote:
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
Vote:
We have so many nationalities.
It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there.
It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
Snow.
One of the rare times the phrase "8 - 12 inches" is associated with something white.