Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Little Johnny was always late for school.
When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle.
Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket.
Next day Johnny was on time.
The teacher had history class.
"What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student.
"Asians", said the student.
"What are the people in Africa called".
"Africans" said the student.
Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean."
To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
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What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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Q: Why did the Republican cross the road?
A: There was a black guy on the first side.
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Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.
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How do you get a nigga out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
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Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.