Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Vote:
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street.
The driver rush to the scene.
He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
Why do black people only have nightmares?
We killed the only one with a dream.
What do you call a black guy that doesn't rape white women?
An inmate.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
Vote:
What did the mama bear say to her cub?
"Don't go out in your bear feet!"