Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
We killed the only one with a dream.
What do you call a black guy that doesn't rape white women?
An inmate.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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What did the mama bear say to her cub?
"Don't go out in your bear feet!"